


These Things Cannot Be Prevented

by Mercedesbt1224



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, Feel-good, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Halloween, Holidays, James T. Kirk Loves Spock, M/M, New Years, No Real Angst, Not beta'd we die like men, Requited Love, Sickfic, Spock Loves James T. Kirk, T'hy'la, T'hy'la Big Bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercedesbt1224/pseuds/Mercedesbt1224
Summary: "It starts with a fist to his face, as so many things in Jim Kirk’s life does. Seriously, his auto-biography would be called “all the times Jim Kirk got decked in the nose and it changed his life completely.” essentially the only important thing that ever happened to him that didn’t start with getting clobbered was his birth, and that started with death instead so... Jim prefers the fist."------"Jim wakes up on his own bed, a glass of water on his bedside table, a pounding headache- and oh yeah, that fucking broken nose. Bones walks in right on cue, takes one look at the sad Picasso painting that must be Jim’s face, and sighs."





	These Things Cannot Be Prevented

It starts with a fist to his face, as so many things in Jim Kirk’s life does. Seriously, his auto-biography would be called “all the times Jim Kirk got decked in the nose and it changed his life completely.” essentially the only important thing that ever happened to him that didn’t start with getting clobbered was his birth, and that started with death instead so... Jim prefers the fist. 

  


The bar is hot and crowded and the alcohol in Jim’s veins is absolutely incredible. The two men across from him are nothing but swaying blurs of shouting anger.

“You fucking asshole! I’m gonna kill you for that!” one of the smears shouts. Jim supposes he must have bumped into him and knocked his drink over because he can feel a cold wet spot down his front that reeks of cranberry and vodka.

“Really? Vodka cran? Honestly I did you a favour” Jim says- or at least he thinks he says, but he’s like ninety percent sure he’s slurring like all hell. Although clearly he’s audible enough because the blur says,

“Oh that’s it you fucking asshole” and a fist lovingly collides with his nose. Jim does his best to fight back, of course. He wouldn’t be Jim Kirk if he didn’t try to fight back. Blob number two joins in the fight and Jim knows it’s game over, they’re about to mop the damn floor with his perfect hair, and Jim is getting ready for the final blow, the one that will take him to the ground, when  _ he  _ shows up. 

“I believe your point has been adequately made. If you two wouldn’t mind ceasing your actions I will remove this individual from the establishment.” comes a deep voice. Jim doesn’t remember much from this night but damn does he ever remember that voice. 

  


The car is warm when Jim regains something resembling consciousness. He’s still  _ seriously  _ drunk and his face hurts like no tomorrow. All Jim can think about is how mad Bones is going to be when he sees Jim’s nose, which is definitely broken… again. And man his ribs hurt too. Blob number two got a good kick in and-wait holy shit-who’s car is he in? Jim forces his eyes open despite their valiant attempt to be swollen shut. He’s got dark hair, that much Jim can see, and once his vision focuses a bit more he can see that this person- man actually- is a really hot Vulcan, but that might be the whiskey talking. Jim totally does not panic or anything because of course there’s nothing sketchy about a random Vulcan taking a very intoxicated and vulnerable Jim to an unknown location. Jim forces himself to clear his throat. The Vulcan looks over at him and raises a perfect, angled eyebrow in a look that says  _ you look terrible _ .

“Uh, hi?” Jim says, though it sounds like a question even to his own ears.

“Jim Kirk” Spock says. Now that freaks him out a bit. Jim racks through his whiskey soaked memory trying to see if he knows  _ any _ Vulcans at all. Nope. Jim can’t remember a single conversation ever with any Vulcans.

“Do I know you?” Jim asks suspiciously.

“I do not know if you know me. I, however, know you.” the Vulcan says. Jim squirms uncomfortably in the seat.

“Uh… not gonna lie man, you’re kinda freaking me out” Jim says, fingers creeping to the door handle.

“Ah, my apologies. I know you because I am an instructor at the Academy. Christopher Pike has told me of you” he says. Relief fills Jim and he sinks back into the seat. 

“Oh, ok. Sorry I just thought you were gonna murder me.”

“I am not. I simply am returning you to your dormitory building. Would you have prefered I allowed you to continue to be beaten by those two men?” He asks, and is that sarcasm Jim detects? Jim chuckles a bit, but with the heat of the car and the fear of being murdered gone, sleep is pulling him down fast. He leans his head against the window and, though he tries to fight it, unconsciousness claims him.

  


Jim wakes up on his own bed, a glass of water on his bedside table, a pounding headache- and oh yeah, that fucking broken nose. Bones walks in right on cue, takes one look at the sad picasso painting that must be Jim’s face, and sighs.

  


Jim can’t let it go because-  _ just because  _ .

Because every time he closes his eyes that stupid arched brow is all he sees. Besides, it’s not hard to find out who the Vulcan is. Not when there’s only one Vulcan professor at Star fleet academy. Seriously, Starfleet needs to work on its diversity initiatives. It’s almost  _ too  _ easy. 

  


Spock. His name is Spock.

  


And Spock teaches the science track. And Spock is only three years older than Jim. And Spock doesn’t teach any classes Jim is in so frat regs don’t apply.  _ Frat regs don’t apply _ . 

Frat.

Regs.

Don’t.

Apply.

Jim tries to not be too excited about that fact.

  


He finds Spock’s office after his classes are done for the day. What, with Vulcan work ethic, Jim wouldn’t be surprised if Spock practically lived in his office. But it’s not like Jim did research on Vulcans and Vulcan culture or anything.  _ No that would be ridiculous, right? _

Spock’s head is bent over the desk, black hair swooped over pale skin and-oh… it wasn’t just the whiskey talking. Spock is  _ hot _ . He’s typing on his PADD and clearly hasn’t noticed Jim yet, and well that won’t do. Jim, because apparently this is his favourite way to greet Spock, clears his throat. Spock’s head snaps up and his dark eyes meet Jim’s and-and Jim needs Spock to continue looking at him like  _ that.  _ Like he’s interesting. Spock does not look surprised to see him whatsoever, but that might be the Vulcan stoicism or whatever.

“Cadet Kirk” Spock says, tipping his head in acknowledgment, eyes never once leaving Jim’s. 

“Spock” Jim says, unable to fight the smile off his face.

“That would be  _ commander  _ Spock to you” Spock says, though his voice holds no real heat to it. 

“Mm perhaps. You gonna let me come in?” Jim says because Jim is an asshole.

“There is nothing barring your entrance cadet.” And Jim knows to take that as an invite. It’s the best he’ll get probably. Jim tries not to look  _ too  _ eager as he enters Spock’s office and sits in the chair across his desk.

They sit in silence for a moment because Jim realizes he forgot to make a game plan. He’s drawing blanks here-is it appropriate to say ‘please fuck me over this desk?’ Probably not. 

“Is there a reason for your presence?” Spock finally prompts, snapping Jim out of his vivid fantasizing.

“Yes. I wanted to thank you for the other night. Although my roommate was less than pleased, I still chalk it up to one of my favourites.” Jim says, grinning. Spock’s eyebrows knit in confusion-and oh yeah that is a good look for him.

“Your ‘favourite?’ Do you enjoy having two grown men beat you senseless?” Spock asks. Jim smiles wider. 

“Not particularly although I do enjoy the chance to throw some punches. But it was a favourite of mine regardless” and now Jim is treading on thin ice but he’s not about to back down.

“Why?” Spock asks in open curiosity.

“Well… I don’t usually have you to scrape me off the floor. That was a definite bonus.” And Jim loves the way Spock’s eyes widen minutely. He  _ loves  _ it. 

“It was only logical to aid you as you were clearly in no position to win the fight-“

“You know, you could just say ‘you’re welcome’” Jim teases

“I could, however I have no logical reason to.” Spock says, though his tone is light and Jim can see right past that Vulcan mask. It's wonderful.

  


Jim waits to move things along. Lest he scare Spock off or whatever. His mom always said he was sometimes ‘a little too intense, Jimmy.’ But the thing is, now that Jim’s looking for Spock, he sees him  _ everywhere _ . Between classes in the halls. Walking in the quad looking like San Francisco is the Arctic or something. In the cafeteria discussing things with Uhura and- wait hold up. Uhura? They’re not- they couldn’t be- uh oh.

  


Jim corners Uhura as she comes back to her dorm. He’s already in there, lounging on Gaila’s bed as she flips through a magazine beside him. Despite rumours, and one drunken night, they are  _ not  _ sleeping together. Uhura takes one look at him and rolls her eyes. Jim bolts up from the bed.

“Uhura! Or should I say… Nancy?” He’s taken to guessing her name every time they talk because she  _ still  _ refuses to tell him her first name. Really he’s just trying anything at this point.

“Not even close, Kirk. What do you want?” She demands, tossing her bag onto her neatly made bed.

“You know Spock right? I see you guys eat lunch together sometimes” he says, trying not to sound suspicious.  _ Failing _ . 

“Yeah… what of it? You’re not going to pester him for my name are you?” She says, eyeing him carefully.

“Come now Uhura, not  _ everything _ is about you.” He says with a grin.

“What then?” Jim tries ( _ fails)  _ not to be nervous.

“What’s the deal with you two? Are you guys dating?” He blurts out, shockingly un-kirk-like. Her eyes widen.

“Oh.  _ Oh _ . I see. No Kirk, we’re just friends.” She says, then she clears her throat, leans in slightly and says in a low tone “and he is a very  _ very  _ good person so if you hurt him I will fuck you up so hard Kirk. Do  _ not  _ make him a conquest .” And Jim is so shocked he forgets to act nonchalant. Instead he says,

“He-he’s not a conquest” in an all too vulnerable way. Uhura seems somewhat- very somewhat- satisfied with this answer and says softly,

“He likes plomeek soup. Now get out of my dorm.” And Jim is too surprises to argue. God what is he turning into?

  


For all that Uhura pretends to hate Jim, she sure is useful. Clearly she sees something Jim doesn’t or whatever because when Jim approaches the cafeteria table that has Uhura and Spock, she shoots him a look that could almost,  _ almost _ , be mistaken as encouraging. 

“Hey Spock! Hey there… Delilah?” He tries. Uhura rolls her eyes.

“Honestly are you even trying at this point Kirk? Now you’re just quoting classical pop.” Jim grins and looks over to Spock who is staring at Jim with something resembling resignation.

“Cadet Kirk.” He says. Jim grins wider.

“Spock”

“ _ Commander Spock”  _ he corrects. Jim sits down across from Spock next to a bemused Uhura.

“You start calling me Jim and I’ll consider calling you commander” and is that amusement in Spock’s eyes? 

“I’ve got to go. See you later Spock” Uhura says, and god Jim could kiss her in that moment. Spock doesn’t look fooled though. Not one bit. 

Excellent.

And Jim is not nervous. Definitely not. Probably. But the way Spock is looking at him, like he’s interesting and amusing. Yeah that should not turn him on as much as it does.

“So Spock, when did you move to earth?” Jim asks, trying not to sound too eager. Spock regards him for a moment.

“I moved to earth 4.69 years ago to attend Starfleet Academy.” he says.

“I heard you did the advanced track right? That’s the one I’m on” Jim replies.

“I am aware. Do you find it challenging?” and  _ thank god  _ Spock is asking Jim questions too. Jim takes it as a sign to keep going.

“Well sure it’s not easy, but if I did the regular track I’d be bored out of my mind.” and Spock tries not to look impressed. Maybe Jim is getting better at reading him or maybe Vulcan’s aren’t so stoic afterall, but Jim tries not to be too pleased with himself.

  


They have a lot in common.

Which isn’t so surprising, Jim supposes, but the more they talk the more Jim thinks ‘where have you been all along?’ and he can’t help but feel a little discombobulated from it. Disoriented. Dizzy. And other ‘D’ words. Especially when Spock seems to be resisting less and less with every conversation. He must feel it too, right? That undeniable chemistry strengthened by the fact that their interests are so closely matched they even have the same opinion on stupid shit like perpendicular astrodynamical flight theory. Honestly it’s a bit freaky how much Jim enjoys spending time with Spock. And it’s a bit freaky how little Spock seems to mind. 

  


“I would enquire as to what this is” Spock says from across the cafeteria table. 

“What do you mean?” Jim asks like the asshole he is. Of course he knows what Spock is referring to.

“The container you have just placed in front of me without comment, in a manner which implies it is something meant for myself.” Spock replies and god he makes it so easy. Jim smiles, placing his chin in his palm.

“It’s a gift. Of sorts.”

“What is it?” Spock asks in an almost too human way.

“I suppose it would only be  _ logical _ for you to open it to see.” and Jim attempts not to be too nervous. The look on Spock’s face makes it all worth it. Worth the two hours it took to make. Worth the cuts on his fingers because Jim Kirk  _ cannot _ operate a kitchen knife- seriously it’s like witch craft. 

“This is- is this?” Spock pauses, clearly trying to gather himself, then tries again “Is this plomeek soup?” 

“You bet. Made by yours truly. You mentioned your mom used to make it when you were younger and I checked, the replicators don’t have it so… I made some.” Jim says, sounding too sincere even in his own ears.

“I- thank you” Spock says, blushing green and- oh my god blushing green wow that should  _ not _ turn him on but it  _ does _ .

“Don’t thank me yet, it might be terrible. I’m not much of a cook. Try it though.” Jim encourages.

Spock tries it and falls silent. Come on, that's just cruel- just say it if it’s terrible.

“So?” he prompts.

“It is perfect” Spock says, meeting Jim’s eyes and- oh… that’s new. The way Spock looks at him is not with the usual interest and fascination, but instead open affection practically radiates from Spock’s gaze. Does Spock know he’s making Jim feel so warm inside and seriously debate whether or not to just lunge at Spock and demand they screw here and now? Probably not.

  


Spock’s apartment is literally so tidy it’s nuts. Like, if there was a holo-show opposite of the old terran show ‘hoarders,’ Spock would star in it. Jim bets that even his fucking teas are probably organized to ‘maximize tea drinking efficiency.’ Jim is the only chaotic thing in the whole apartment- and possibly in Spock’s life- which is  _ wonderful _ . It was Spock’s idea, actually, to play chess. He discovered that Jim had won some chess competitions as a kid and as it turns out, there’s another shared interest. So Spock proposed Jim come over for dinner and they could have a go. Jim had to continuously remind himself that this was probably, almost definitely  _ not _ a date. But if it is, Jim would be just fine with that. 

They eat some kind of Vulcan stew that tastes pretty damn amazing despite not having meat, which is something Jim wasn’t sure was possible, and they talk about Admiral Nogura’s alleged sex scandal. Spock explains in perfect logic why his fucking plates are organized by size, colour, and material, and Jim tries not to be too mad at himself that  _ this _ is the kind of person he’s fallen in love with- wait.

What?

He’s not-

He couldn’t be-

woah.

_ Shit _ . he’s fucking in love with Spock. He’s in love with someone who  _ organizes plates _ . Fucking hell.

He tries to hold it together when Spock sets up the chessboard, but his head is spinning and he feels vaguely nauseous. Why does love make him nauseous?

His competitive nature takes over once the game starts, so he’s able to put his revelation out of his mind while he freaking mops the chessboard with Spock. Yes, yes Spock played with the logic of a million Surak’s or whatever, but Spock was  _ not _ prepared for the fact that Jim plays with the same chaotic energy he lives his life with. Spock doesn’t even hide his surprise when Jim declares ‘checkmate’ so Jim doesn’t bother hiding his triumph. They play three more times, and Jim wins all but once. By the time he leaves, it’s three am, his face hurts from smiling, his throat is sore from laughing, and he is royally fucked. As he walks out the door Spock brushes his fingers against Jim’s hand, which feels  _ way _ too good, and says “have a good night Jim.” and it’s not like Spock has  _ never  _ called him ‘Jim’ before, but it’s rare that he does, and never with that intensity. That way of saying it that makes Jim feel like he’s saying way more. Way more.

  


Jim thinks about Spock a lot. A lot. Like at least every 30 minutes. Whether it’s just a quick, ‘oh I should tell Spock about this thing that’s happening’ or fantasizing about all the ways Jim could confess his love or whatever. Yeah he’s gone and fucked himself over on that one.

“Jim are you even listening?” Gaila says, snapping Jim out of his hundredth debate in his own head as to whether or not Spock would hate Jim if he confessed.

“Yeah Gaila I’m totally listening. You were telling me about your xenolinguistics teacher and all the ways you two have had eye-sex or whatever” Jim says, poking at the salad Bones forced him to take for lunch. Spock is busy grading papers today and Jim is pretending not to miss him.

“First of all, it’s called flirting not eye-sex, and that was literaly half an hour ago. I’m telling you about the fact that Leonard McCoy, your best friend and roommate, is having sex with Nyota Uhura, my best friend and roommate.” Jim perks up.

“Really? How long have they been- wait! Nyota? Her name is Nyota?” Jim asks, unable to believe that Gaila finally slipped up after 2  _ years _ . Gaila claps a hand to her mouth.

“Fuck!” she cries from behind her palm. Jim begins to laugh, no, Jim begins to  _ cackle like a sea-witch _ .

“What’s so funny” comes a voice from behind him and- oh my god life is beautiful.

“Nyota!” Jim cries in greeting. Uhura’s- no, Nyota’s- mouth drops open and she turns on Gaila, who is hiding behind both her hands now.

“Gaila! Seriously?” she snaps. Jim is laughing so hard he almost misses Gaila sputter about 8 million apologies. 

Once Jim can breathe again he remembers to ask, “When did you start screwing Bones?” which only increases the daggers Nyota is staring in Gaila’s direction.

  


“I do not understand the logic.” Spock says, smug over his tea.

“For the millionth time, there is no logic. People go to the movies for  _ fun _ .” Jim says exasperatedly.

“Fun?” Spock says as though Jim had said a foreign word.

“Don’t play dumb, you know what the word ‘fun’ means.”

“I am aware of the definition of the word, however I fail to see how sitting in a darkened room eating cooked corn with my hands whilst watching a fictional film could fit the definition.” Jim gives him a look. The look. The look that says ‘Spock I swear to god I’m gonna explode’ and the smugness in Spock’s face increases. If it weren’t so adorable Jim would be angry. How irritating.

“What if we saw a documentary?” Jim proposes, setting the trap.

“Perhaps that could be logical. However isn’t a research paper more efficient for absorbing information.”

“Spock, compromise with me here. Let’s go see that documentary on Pirius IV.” 

“Is the documentary on the entire planet? If so, I doubt they would be capable of efficiently covering all the material in a short amount of time.” Jim is treading carefully now, slowly reeling in Spock to the idea.

“It’s on Pirius IV’s ocean’s the most unique ocean’s in our known galaxy. The ocean’s that scientists have yet to even find the bottom of. C’mon Spock, humour me.”

“Vulcan’s do not ‘humour’”

“Yes I know but I’d really like to go, but more importantly I’d really like to go  _ with you” _ Jim says. It’s not a lie, not even close, and it’s a risky move, but Spock pauses and looks at Jim like he does sometimes- all warm and fuzzy. Jim silently chants ‘please’ in his head and Spock finally opens his mouth-

“Very well Jim.” 

_ Checkmate! _

  


The theatre is dark and mostly empty. As it turns out, documentaries about ocean’s on distant planets don’t often completely sell-out the theatre. Shocker truly. There’s an elderly couple sitting up front and one small group of teenagers who look intoxicated enough that Jim doubts they even know what film they’re seeing. He and Spock sit in the back. Jim insisted on popcorn even though Spock called it unsanitary. 

“I brought you chopsticks don’t worry.” Jim assures him as they sit down.

“As it is extremely dark in this room, I doubt I will be able to adequately use those” Spock retorts

“Then use your hands like everyone else. It’s not like you’re sharing with a stranger, just me.” Jim whispers as the trailers begin. This seems to somewhat satisfy Spock surprisingly. He gingerly reaches out and plucks a single piece of popcorn. His face is Surak stoic while he chews but then he whispers

“It is adequate.” and Jim knows to take it as a compliment of sorts. 

  


It’s hard not to feel a bit flustered. Jim was not born yesterday and this is  _ not _ his first rodeo, but this is definitely his first time in love. The documentary is interesting and all, it really is, but Jim just can’t focus. That’s not really surprising though. Spock’s hand is on the arm rest and it is more tempting than any drug Jim has ever known. More tempting than even free beer. Jim is totally fucked. His fingers literally itch to grab hold of Spock’s and so now Jim is worried he’s got a neurological disorder or some shit. Instead of looking at the pink waters of Pirius IV, Jim inches his fingers closer and closer to Spock’s, until just the tiniest bit of pinky touches the side of his hand. Did he just imagine Spock’s sharp intake of breath? Did he just imagine the twitch of Spock’s fingers? Jim prays that he didn’t just imagine it. He prays to a God he’s never even believed in. 

His heart is pounding and he’s trying to find the courage, and his palms are so sweaty it’s gross, and oh my god can Spock hear how loudly his heart is racing? Finally, slowly, painfully, Jim turns his head to look at Spock and finds- oh… Spock is already staring at Jim. His head fully turned to the side, dark eyes warm and wide. Jim’s heart doesn’t stop racing but he suddenly feels calm. Jim knows he isn’t imagining the subtle upturn of Spock’s lips. Jim knows. So Jim goes for it. Spock’s lips are everything he ever wanted and more, and Jim knows he’s home.

There were many ways Jim had imagined their first kiss happening. Late at night it was sometimes all he could think of. He thought about maybe kissing in the rain, or during a romantic dinner, or on the beach watching the sunset (What? Jim’s a romantic) but none of them involved a somewhat boring documentary on alien sea-life, and none of them involved popcorn-breath, and somehow Jim prefers it over all those fantasies.

  


Jim pretty much moves into Spock’s apartment after that. It’s not instantaneous or anything but, well there’s no delicate way to put this, Jim spends  _ a lot _ of time over there. Particularly a lot of nights. So he brings a few things over. Essentials obviously. A toothbrush, a change of clothes… a few more changes of clothes… then pretty much the rest of his wardrobe. It doesn’t happen overnight, but soon enough, it’s been weeks since Jim went back to his dorm. Spock doesn’t seem to mind, actually, Spock seems to encourage it. He asks Jim what kind of shampoo he needs and buys it at the grocery store. Spock puts coffee in the replicator despite the fact that Jim knows how much Spock hates coffee. It’s not official though, at least not until the day Jim gets back to the apartment and there’s a key sitting on the kitchen table. A key to the front door. Jim does  _ not _ tear up. It’s allergies, probably.

  


“Babe we should dress up for halloween. Gaila’s putting on a party.” Jim says over breakfast one morning. Spock still looks somewhat asleep and much to focused on his kreyla bread.

“What is the logic of this?” he asks Jim. Jim fights a smile because that is  _ exactly  _ what Jim knew Spock would say.

“Well do you want the historical logic of it? Because it was originally a religious holiday to scare off demons and other evil spirits-” 

“As there is no evidence of such things existing, I am sure you are well aware I do not see that as logic” there it is, that smile Jim was fighting.

“Of course. Well socializing with our friends is logical right?”

“Yes this is correct, however why must we do so in costumes?” Jim slides around the kitchen island so he’s standing in front of Spock.

“Because it’s tradition?” Jim tries.

“Not my tradition. Tradition is not logical if it is solely for the sake of tradition.” Jim bites his lip, thinking hard. He wraps his arms around Spock’s neck and pulls him close, so they’re chest to chest.

“Hmm… well think about it like this; if we go in costumes that are a matching set, a couples costume that is, I’ll be able to show you off, make sure everyone knows you’re taken.” Jim says softly, giving his very best eyes. Clearly his best eyes work on everyone, even Vulcan’s because after a pause- very long pause- Spock does something remarkably close to sighing and nods. 

  


“C’mon let me see!” Jim calls excitedly from the bedroom.

“Jim I am unsure.” Spock says back from the bathroom.

“Let me see! Let me see!” Jim can’t stop himself from bouncing excitedly on his toes- and no he is not five he’s just excited.

The bathroom door opens and Spock emerges into the room. Jim’s jaw drops open and a huge smile tugs at his face. Oh yes.  _ Oh yes _ . Before him stands batman. Well actually it’s a much more stoic batman than what Jim has seen in the vintage holo’s but it’s batman nonetheless. 

“Babe! You look great!” 

“I do not understand the pop culture reference we are portraying.” and just like that, the illusion is shattered. Still, Spock looks hot as  _ fuck _ and Jim needs to look away or else they might not make it to the party afterall.

“We’re batman and robin! Epic team of the 21st century!” Jim gestures to his own costume which he proudly feels makes his butt look  _ very  _ superhero-like. 

“Jim, of all the possible costumes why did you choose this one? It is highly illogical.” and Spock sounds almost pleading, god it’s adorable.

“Batman and Robin are iconic. Besides they’re very recognizable. And I knew you’d look hot in that batsuit.” Jim adds, running his hands down Spock’s front. 

“Do I have a choice in the matter?” 

“No, but when we get home we can do something that doesn’t require any costume at all” Jim says with a smirk. Spock sighs, though of course he’d deny it, and as always nods in agreement. Jim pulls him in for a long kiss and suddenly Jim is even considering getting out of the costume right this second, but no, Gaila will kill him if he doesn’t show. He pulls back panting and stares at Spock.

“Later.” he promises Spock. 

Definitely later.

  


They leave the party early. Not because it wasn’t a good party or anything, quite the contrary actually. Gaila was dressed as a bunny Jim  _ thinks _ but honestly he’s not sure because the entire costume consisted of four pieces of fur glued to various areas of her body and  _ that’s it _ . Bones and Nyota are still screwing but it’s still secret Jim supposes because it wasn’t until they were both heavily drunk that they started kissing, and once they started they did not stop. It was actually a bit frightening. The music was loud, people loved Jim and Spock’s costumes, and the food was fun themed and delicious. Jim spent ten minutes explaining to Spock why the spaghetti had been labelled ‘spook-ghetti’ and Jim didn’t even mind. No they left early because there was free booze and chocolate. This of course meant Jim was drunk on beer and Spock had been coaxed into some chocolate so he was definitely looking a little more dazed than normal. As it turns out a drunk Vulcan is a handsy Vulcan. 

_ Perfect. _

Jim cannot, in good conscience subject the lovely people of this party to more of a show than they’re getting from Nyota and Bones, so when Spock starts kissing his neck, hands sliding lower and lower on his costume, slipping under the cape, Jim suggests they head home. Spock doesn’t argue whatsoever.

They make it one step inside the door after taking a cab home before Spock is on him. It’s drunken, and sloppy, and  _ delicious _ .

Jim chalks it up to his favourite halloween ever. It even beats the one in ninth grade with Stacy Dennirs. Yeah… hands-down this wins.

  


“Jim what the hell is on your neck?” Bones asks, glaring daggers at Jim over his coffee cup. Jim feels the heat rise to his cheeks immediately and he knows there’s no point lying. 

“It was from Halloween night.” he mumbles.

“Did you literally get attacked by a vampire?” Bones retorts. Jim smirks.

“Kind of…” 

“You’re disgusting Jim.” 

“Oh c’mon it’s one hickey! And it’s not like you were doing much better! You had Uhura in your damn lap!” Jim cries.

“Keep your voice down for godsake Jim!” Bones growls

“Why are you two still hiding it? Jim asks incredulously. Bones opens his mouth to answer then stops.

“I… honestly don’t know. It’s not really my decision.” he says, looking slightly defeated.

“Really? Bones you gotta talk to her about that. Everyone pretty much knows anyway. Especially after halloween.” Jim says, trying not to laugh. Clearly he’s not effective enough because Bones shoots him a death look and forces Jim to eat an apple. Jim can always tell when Bones is mad at him because he’ll force Jim to eat healthier.

  


“You know, Nyota is making Bones keep their relationship a secret.” Jim says to Spock later that night, pulling on a pyjama shirt. 

“That is peculiar. Particularly after their display on halloween night.” Spock replies, climbing into bed.

“I know that’s what I said to Bones. It’s weird, I don’t understand it.” Jim climbs in next to Spock, resting his head on Spock’s chest. Spock’s fingers begin tracing patterns on Jim’s shoulder.

“It is rather peculiar. Nyota has told me in casual conversation of her past dating history, and I do not recall anything that might prompt her to be secretive.” Spock says right before yawning. Jim reaches out and turns off the lamp before settling back into Spock’s chest in the darkness.

“You don’t think… she’s ashamed of him or anything right? Like I know he’s a bit older than her but I don’t really think there’s anything to be ashamed of.” Jim says into Spock’s t-shirt. 

“I do not know why she would be, however I also cannot explain her actions otherwise.” Jim doesn’t respond for a minute. In the darkness of the room a question builds in Jim’s gut. It builds and  _ builds _ until finally Jim blurts.

“You’re not ashamed of me, right?” and then there’s a pause- and no his heart is  _ not _ racing.

“Ashayam of course not.” and that tension bleeds out of Jim. He relaxes into Spock. He’s just on the cusp of sleep when he hears Spock say, 

“I could never be ashamed of you T’hy’la.” and Jim is pulled into sleep. 

  


November isn’t really all that cold in San Francisco. Unless you’re a Vulcan. This isn’t an issue for Jim because Jim is from Iowa, which is kinda like the Arctic of America, but his Vulcan boyfriend on the other hand….

“You look like a Vulcan-sicle” Jim says, pulling Spock’s hat further down his ears.

“There is no such thing Jim.” Spock says briskly, not slowing down his fast walking pace. It’s not even that cold of a day. No snow or anything. Jim’s doing ok in just his coat but Spock is wearing enough layers to make a polar bear sweat.

“Yes there is. I’m looking at one.” Jim says, sticking his tongue out at Spock. Yeah, Jim is basically a five year old.

“Jim.” is all Spock has to say in return. They’re on their way home from campus, and granted they’d normally drive but the car is being serviced or whatever because Spock says Jim ‘is a bad driver and incapable of maintaining a healthy engine when operating the vehicular device’ or something equally cruel. 

“Babe that tea shop we like is right down the street. Let's stop for some tea to warm up” Jim suggests, pointing a gloved finger down the road. Spock is not looking like he’s in a pleasant mood and Jim can tell he’s ready to say no to anything Jim offers or asks but Jim tries anyway.

“I… would be amenable to the idea” Spock says, looking like the request was surprisingly logical. Jim smirks.

Yeah he can be logical sometimes. What about it?

  


The shop is warm the second they enter and even Iowa Jim breathes a sigh of relief. Spock looks like he might actually cry tears of joy- no not literally obviously, but whatever the Vulcan version of that is. 

“Perfect. Let's grab a table.” Spock looks like he’d be willing to agree to anything so long as it doesn’t involve going back outside. 

  


When they’re both seated by the window, tea clasped in slowly warming fingers, Jim looks at Spock. Not just the ‘i’m looking at you while you talk’ kind of thing but rather, as Spock begins to talk about his new simulation he’s made which also involves klingons like pretty much all the other sims he’s made- seriously, Jim is worried that Spock might be in love with klingons- but no, he  _ really _ looks at Spock. It’s amazing what the good lighting from the window does to the dark sweep of hair and slanted eyebrows. Those warm chocolate eyes so much more expressive than any other Vulcan’s. 

“However this time, the cadets will have to think critically about the actual design of the ship…..” Spock continues. Jim thinks about Vulcan. Spock has cooked him Vulcan food plenty of times throughout their relationship, and Jim really likes most of it. Though the whole no meat thing is definitely a bummer. Jim can handle heat fairly well too. While Iowa is cold as ever in the winters, it can get hot as hell during summer. But then again… Vulcan is another level of heat. What if Spock wanted to move to Vulcan one day. Jim plays it cool most of the time but there’s no fooling himself this time… he’s in it for the long-run with Spock. If Spock asked Jim to follow him to Vulcan, Jim would do it. 

“If the cadet should fail to identify the leak in the gel propeling system, they will fail the simulation. There is of course, an alternative method…” God he’s such a nerd, this is really the love of his life? Spock looks more excited about this simulation than most kids are at christmas. 

“I love you.” Jim says before he can even process the thought. Because… because it’s true. Jim admitted it months ago. But now it’s out there in the air and Jim isn’t sure if he wants to take it back yet. Spock stops talking abruptly, his eyes widening, face slackening in a way that’s more human than Jim’s really ever seen. The silence is long and painful.

“Taluhk nash’veh k’dular” is what he finally says. And no, of course Jim hasn’t learned as much Vulcan as he possibly could or anything… that would be ridiculous, right? No, Jim just happens to know exactly what that phrase means. What a wonderful coincidence.

Spock finishes explaining the simulation.

  


They stay in San Francisco for Thanksgiving. Spock says his mother does a small celebration however tensions are too high with his father for Spock to even remotely desire to go.

“What, you mean you don’t want to passive-aggressively ask your father for the vegetarian gravy?” Jim says, which earns him a well-deserved death glare. Jim does his best attempt at making a vegetarian, earth-style Thanksgiving dinner. He makes mashed potatoes, green-beans, stuffing, candied yams, and a pumpkin pot pie. It all turns out better than expected, but definitely not masterchef level. Spock eats his whole plate and even thanks Jim for the meal, even though they both know Spock could’ve cooked it much better.

Then they play chess twice and checkers once. Jim wins at chess, and Spock wins a checkers. Jim tries to pass off his checkers loss on tipsy-ness as he has indulged in a bit of wine, but Spock does not look convinced. Fair enough, honestly.

Jim tries to save-face with sex, but even afterwards when they’re laying in bed cuddling afterwards, sleepy and sated, Spock says,

“It appears your method of chaos and illogic does not lend itself to checkers in the way you had hoped.” and Jim kicks him in the shin.

“Shut up.”

  


Spock often tries to coax vegetables and fruit into Jim’s lunch, and today is no exception. It’s just them in the cafeteria as Bones and Nyota have finally started going out publicly, and therefore are pretty much always on the quad, making out like they’re teenagers again. Gaila stops by briefly but then leaves to go find that teacher she’s been eyeing pretty much forever.

“She may be flunking the class, but she’ll still never get his ‘D’” Jim says, sighing as Gaila flounces away, unbuttoning the top of her blouse.

“Indeed. I do find it illogical that she should pursue a teacher who has shown no interest and to whom fraternization regulations apply to when she has many willing suitors” Spock says in agreement.

“Exactly. Like if she was into me I’d dump you immediately and marry her on the spot. She’s my one true love” Jim says, grinning.

“Ah, I see. Well you would have to battle me for her hand as I am also desperate for her affection.” Spock says, taking a bite of salad. Jim’s mouth drops open.

“I thought Vulcans couldn’t lie! What aren’t you telling me!”

“I do believe that the Vulcan who first told the world we could not lie, was lying. Did you believe we would be struck down by Surak?” Jim is speechless because of course Spock jokes around a bit, but always in a Vulcan way. This… this is so blatant.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jim says, and he definitely doesn’t imagine the small smile on Spock’s face. Jim doesn’t miss Spock pushing a bowl of sliced peaches in Jim’s direction, but he doesn’t fight it either.

What? He likes peaches.

  


Jim gets the flu on Christmas, because luck is never on his side. He spends Christmas eve vomiting into the toilet while Spock rubs his back and speaks softly. Bones comes by and checks him out. He only swears at Jim twice which makes Jim worry if he’s dying or something. Come to think of it, Bones has been swearing a lot less since he started seeing Uhura. Jim always knew he was a softy. Unfortunately for Jim, besides giving him a few, painfully placed, hypos to replace electrolytes, Bones says the flu has to run its course. Lucky Jim. Spock tucks him into bed on Christmas Eve, brushing slightly sweaty blonde hair out of Jim’s eyes. Jim feels young again. Small and somewhat pathetic. It must be true love though, because Spock gives him a kiss goodnight even though Jim smells like puke. 

God, Jim has turned into a sad old man.

  


Jim wakes on Christmas morning feeling ever so slightly better. Still horrifically sick, but well enough to trudge from the bedroom to the living room without vomiting everywhere. They didn’t do a tree, but there’s a small stack of presents in the corner for him and Spock to open. Spock is already in the kitchen making tea when Jim plops himself onto the couch.

“How are you feeling?” Spock asks, bringing Jim a steaming cup of herbal tea.

“Probably as good as I look.” Jim replies, “C’mon let’s open the presents” he continues. Spock brings over the stack. They receive tickets to an opera from Jim’s friend Chekov, a few beautiful wine glasses from Uhura, and a strong bottle of scotch from Bones, along with a note from Uhura forbidding them from drinking scotch out of the wine glasses citing ‘bad etiquette.’ Spock opens Jim’s gift first, revealing a long, warm merino wool sweater in soft earth tones. 

“Thank you it is a very logical, practical, and appreciated gift” is what Spock says, which is as close to ‘oh my god Jim I love it so much’ as Jim will ever get with Spock. Spock gifts Jim a gold chain necklace with a small bar with Vulcan inscription. 

“It’s beautiful. What does it say?” because despite being able to  _ speak  _ Vulcan, Jim cannot  _ read  _ Vulcan. It’s like… really really hard. 

“It says T’hy’la.”

Despite the flu, it’s Jim’s favourite Christmas ever.

  


“You almost ready?” Jim asks, straightening his tie in the mirror. It’s New Year’s Eve and Jim finally feels back to normal after the flu. Gaila’s having a party in her apartment and she threatened to cut off Jim’s ears if he and Spock don’t attend.

“Yes, however I must admit this holiday is one of the most illogical of terran holidays.” Spock says, pulling on his coat.

“Really? How is this  _ more  _ illogical than halloween?” Jim asks. He’s trying not to rip his tie off in frustration because his mother, Winona Kirk, never properly taught him how to tie a tie.

“Most terran holidays, such as ‘Halloween’ are grounded in tradition based on religion. That is logical. While religion is illogical, the human race did not think so historically so therefore the holidays created made historical logic. There is no religion tied to New Years Eve. it is simply an illogical celebration of the Earth’s rotation around its star.” Spock says, crossing the room to fix Jim’s tie for him. It’s actually amazing that Spock can destroy human tradition with logic and still look cute doing it.

Jim’s going soft or something.

“Okay fair enough, but do you want Gaila’s wrath coming after you if we don’t show?” Jim points out, allowing Spock’s nimble fingers to make sense of his tie in record speed.

“No, I do not. The holiday may be illogical, however attending this event is not. Rather, it is an act of self-preservation. A survival tactic, if you will.” Spock says, that non-smile of his tugging at his lips. Jim grins, checking out his appearance in the mirror as Spock steps back, satisfied with his handiwork.

“Looks great, thanks” Jim says, touching the tie.

“I would not recommend touching it Jim. I fear you may ruin it.” Spock says, brushing his hand away.

“Oh shut up.” Jim says. 

  


They arrive at the party what Jim calls ‘fashionably late.’ Spock did something so close to an eye roll when Jim said that to him, it made Jim laugh. The party is crowded, the room slightly darkened and the TV is playing the live coverage from Time Square. Jim spots Bones in the corner, chatting up Sulu.

“Look there’s Bones” Jim points out to Spock

“Indeed. Nyota must be nearby.” He replies. Sure enough Nyota appears out of the blue, handing a drink to Bones and Sulu, dressed in a long sparkling silver dress.

“I don’t see Gaila. Let’s go say hi to them.” Jim suggests. They make their way through the crowd over to the group.

“Hey! Happy New Year’s” chants Bones, Uhura, and Sulu as they approach. 

“Hey guys! Nyota you look absolutely stunning.” Jim says.

“You’re not too bad yourself Kirk. Spock may have competition.” Nyota laughs. Jim grins as Spock wraps a somewhat possessive arm around Jim’s waist.

“Get in line Uhura” Jim jokes. Out of the corner of his eye Jim sees a green blur before Gaila is crashing into Jim, squeezing him into a hug.

“Jesus Gaila, I need to breathe.” Jim says, unsurprised. Gaila gets… touchy-feely when she’s drunk. Well, more touchy-feely than normal.

“I invited my xenolinguistics teacher! I’m gonna make him kiss me at midnight.” Gaila slurs drunkenly into Jim’s ear.

“Really? You’re still after that guy? Are you even in his class anymore?”

“No, I think I’m in love with him though.”

“Ok but what if he wants a monogamous relationship?” Jim asks. Gaila’s face slackens. It appears she literally hadn’t considered this possibility.

“I honestly don’t know.” She replies. Jim laughs.

“C’mon, I need a drink.”

  


Jim is well on his way to drunk when midnight starts approaching. The music is pounding and Jim feels  _ incredible _ . It’s the same kind of incredible Jim felt so many months ago in the bar the night he met Spock. It’s the feeling of everything being possible. This time is different though. It is. This time there’s no angry men beating Jim senseless over a spilled vodka cranberry. This time there’s no sweat, or blood, or possibly broken bones. There is one thing in common though…

Spock.

With gentle hands around his body as they dance. With warm breath on his cheek. With his name muttered in his ear, that soft breath of ‘Jim.’ Gaila forced Spock to eat some chocolate so he’s not doing much better than Jim, but they’re wrapped around each other. Their bodies flush, foreheads touching as they sway to music. In the background people are counting down. 

“Ten! Nine! Eight!...” and Jim opens his eyes and sees Spock’s honey brown eyes staring back.

“Seven! Six! Five!...” and Jim thinks about that night months ago. Why had he gone to the bar? Why that bar? Would he and Spock have found each other otherwise? Would Jim have recognized that part of himself was missing? 

“Four! Three!...” Jim thinks he would have found him somehow. Maybe on a starship someday. Maybe through some stupid xenolinguistics club. He would have found him. In the background Jim can see Gaila kissing Professor Martin, which is too weird for Jim to process. Surely somewhere Bones and Uhura are pulling each other closer. And others are watching the TV, counting down to the new year. 

“Two! One!” The room erupts with cheers and yells. Jim pulls Spock closer, until they’re lips touch and a kiss deepens. Somewhere people are shouting ‘Happy New Year!’ and somewhere Gaila has her tongue down her xenolinguistics teacher’s throat. And Jim knows. He knows. He would have found Spock somehow. These things cannot be prevented.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is officially the longest single chapter fic i've ever written! I started like two months ago and haven't been able to stop! I really hope you all liked it. if you did, please drop a kudos and a comment telling me what you thought! love you guys so much! btw I just started at university and surprisingly writing this fic has helped with the homesickness :)


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